The Art of Compromise
by Mia Cronan
www.MainStreetMom.com

Early on in my marriage, I was concerned about having kids and how they would pay for their college, with the rising cost of education and books. It's very scary. My husband promptly informed me that we would pay for it. With what?

I paid every dime of my college tuition, books, transportation, and all the other things that go along with college. My parents would have loved to, but they simply couldn't, after sending all six of us all to Catholic grade and high schools. We were told that we were on our own with college. I'm glad it worked out that way. I learned a lot about time management, because I had to work at least 35 hours a week to pay for school, so I had to really budget my studying time and working time. My education turned out to be more than just what I got from a textbook. I learned about life!

My husband's college was paid for by his parents, and through school loans, which he spent several years paying off. He felt very good about his education and did well in school.

I feel very strongly that our girls should pay their way through school. (Although, realistically, I don't know how that will be possible with the rising costs. We're talking in theory here.) My husband feels very strongly that we need to foot the bill for them so they can concentrate on college life, rather than working, and not have to worry about bigger responsibilities until they graduate.

I suppose both theories have merit. But the nice thing is, we've managed to compromise so we're both happy. We've decided that we will pay all tuition and books for a local state college. If the girls decide to go elsewhere that is more expensive, they will pay the difference, while we give them the money we would have paid to the local state college.

Hopefully, this will teach the girls several lessons:
1. Mommies and Daddies can peacefully work out differences of opinions and end up happy as a team with the decision.

2. In many situations, neither party is necessarily right, and neither is necessarily wrong.

3. Money doesn't grow on trees...perhaps that should be lesson number 1.

4. If they want the finer things in life, they'll have to pay for them.  We will meet their "needs" to the very best of our abilities. They'll have to chip in for the "wants."

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