Teen Attitudes About Household Chores
by Jo Ann Wentzel

 Let’s face it, household chores are not anyone’s favorite. We would all rather be doing something more fun, so is it any wonder teens dislike them so much.  Of course, like everything else in a teen’s life, expressing their negative attitude about doing chores, just has to be a ‘big deal.’

While I understand their feelings about washing the dishes, taking out the garbage, cleaning their room, and vacuuming, I also admit they need to do chores. Household chores should be a part of every teen’s life. All members of a household should be expected to do their part in keeping the place they live, clean and healthy.

Chores are necessary to teach teens how to prepare for adulthood. Household chores also teach a person to have respect for their surroundings. As part of your speech, which you are bound to be forced to make, a parent should mention health issues with regards to keeping a house clean. This will impress few teens, but it is another argument and maybe they will be swayed by it. Requiring teens to do household chores teaches them responsibility and helps them develop the necessary work ethic for their future.

As any parent of teens can tell you, changing their attitudes about anything is a challenge. Like all lessons it is much easier to teach this one when children are small. Taking advantage of the period of time when your three- year- old wants to dust, and your grade school kids want to clean the garage is wise. A few years later, work becomes a dirty four- letter- word for most teens. Start the habit of having your children help you very early on.

But this article is about teens, who already have developed the horror of chores. The easiest way to handle this problem is to expect them to do them. If necessary make keeping your surroundings clean and helping with chores, rules. If they must be rules, there must be consequences for not obeying them. Parents have a right to certain expectations of those who live under their roof. Non- compliance should mean consequences.

A word about expectations- Although chores should be done properly, I feel expectations should be reasonable. Teens are notorious for cutting corners. You must admire their creativity in this respect, while encouraging them to improve in technique. Please, no white glove test. Remember, this is your home not a hospital, and these are your kids, not a hired maid.

If you feel you must pay them for these jobs then require a more thorough job. If it is an extra task above and beyond their usual chores, standards should be much higher. They must learn the meaning of offering ‘a good day’s work for a day’s wages.’ I advise parents to pay well and immediately for extra jobs, but regular chores must be expected of kids as they are citizens of that household also.

Tie consequences in with those things your teen likes to do. Don’t send them to a room for a consequence if their room is a cross between a swanky hotel and the technology toystore. Instead, tell them you won’t be able to go to the game until your dishes are finished. Or limit the time out if you do not wish to take away a loved activity or something they planned on for so long. Use something like, "I was going to extend your curfew for the weekend, but until you take more responsibility for helping at home, it will remain the same." No phone calls until all your chores are finished is realistic. Some chores may be done anytime, others require a specific schedule. Ask any farm kid, they know about chores that must be done on schedule like milking. They also have learned about responsibility and many are taught the animals get to eat before you do. Chores, like homework, can be a prerequisite for free time over the weekend or whatever the special event is that they wish to attend. It is simple to just require them to do what they are supposed to do before they get to do what they want to do. After all, that is life, isn’t it?

Kid’s rooms are another story. If teens want to live like pigs, allow it, but only in their rooms. Shut the door. If you resort to cleaning it for them, you lose the battle. When it gets to the point where the board of health is likely to condemn it, your tactic may need to change. In the meantime let it be. If they can’t find their clothes, they might not be able to go out. When they lose their homework in the rubble, they face the natural consequences of their actions. Don’t allow them to take anything to eat or drink to their rooms. Dirt is one thing, ants another.

If it reaches the stage where it is really unhealthy, literally condemn it and force them to live out of a wash basket and sleep on the sofa. Keep advising them to clean their room at this point and each time they do not comply, remove a prized possession from the condemned area. If they still haven’t cleaned it when the room is completely empty, they need to earn back the stuff. Top on the list as a way to earn possessions back is to houseclean that condemned area. This may earn them back the privilege to sleep in there again. Each time they do another household chore they earn back something they own. Usually, this lesson only needs to be done once, but some kids are more stubborn. The loss of items left lying on the floor or not put away can work the same way with teens earning them back. This is a pretty strong message for most kids.

Remember to keep expectations reasonable, but a parent has a right to a clean, healthy home. This lesson should go far in developing habits of respect for other’s property and their environment.

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