Forge A Trusting Relationship With Your Teen
By Katherine Austinson

Parenting a teen takes trust and respect.

So you’ve been a parent for a few years now? Got the hang of it, do you? But are you ready for the teenage years ? Guiding a teenager through adolescence can be the most challenging time of a parent's life. Teens are in an internal struggle, trying to balance a need to belong and a need to be distinctive. Living with your teen means building a relationship that is based on trust, love and respect.

As you’ve watched your child grow through the elementary school years, you’ve seen firsthand how they respond to the boundaries you set. You know that those boundaries have helped to keep them out of harm s way. As you’ve enforced these boundaries, you’ve built a relationship based on love and respect with your child. And, as adolescence approaches, that loving, respectful relationship will be the foundation that will see you through this challenging and remarkable time in your child's life.

But, respect is a two-sided coin. You can't expect to receive it if you aren’t prepared to give it. Too often adult s brush aside a teenagers ideas and opinions without realizing that listening to your teenager gives them the sense that you value them and respect their ideas. You can earn your teen s respect by showing them that you care for them and value their input. Make them apart of your life, your conversations and your decisions. When you look at your teenager, remember the love and respect you shared through their elementary school years and build on it. Find out what kind of new interests fill their lives. Ask them what their new struggles are and help them to see how many options they have for dealing with each new situation!

Look for positive moments in your relationship to reinforce the values you share and show your teen that you trust them. Maybe just sharing a bagel and a smile is all it will take to remind your teen that you care and are ready to listen. Show your confidence in them and they will return the favor. When you make it clear that you want to help them through their struggles, you ll be taking the first step toward building a trusting relationship with your teen.

Katherine Austinson is a freelance writer living in New Ulm, Minnesota. She divides her work between grant writing for area non-profit organizations and writing informative pieces for publication.

E-mail: austinson@newulmtel.net 

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