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Making Time For
Romance
By Edel Jarboe
How do you make time
for romance in your busy life?
Connecting with your partner emotionally and
physically is a soothing balm for our frazzled lives. A foot massage
and a sympathetic ear give us the chance to recharge our selves and
our love lives. But after a long day of putting out fires at work,
handling numerous phone calls, writing up that report, shuttling the
kids back and forth, cooking, doing laundry, walking the dog, etc.,
etc.- the last thing on your mind is romance. With so much competing
for our attention it is easy to focus on everything but each other.
So, how do you find the time to connect with your sweetie? Make
intimacy a habit just like your morning coffee and bagel by adding
it into your daily routine.
- Compliment each other on the things you
like and appreciate about each other every day. Let your partner
know that he/she is in your thoughts and in your heart.
- Create your own simple rituals that show
that you care about each other. Find a way to connect during the
day with a note, a phone call, or an email.
- Listen without giving advice, taking
responsibility, or trying to "fix" things. Let your
mate enjoy the luxury of knowing that you are really listening.
- Only give feedback if your mate asks for
it.
- Talk to each other about what's going on in
your lives besides the day-to-day running of the household or
office talk. Share what you are feeling.
- Hold each other. A simple hug can do
wonders.
- Instead of the standard, "How was your
day?" exchange, pick at least one good thing about your day
and share it with each other.
- Give each other a kiss when coming and
going.
- Laugh together - often.
- Plan a regular "date" night once
a week.
- Say the words "I love you."
You may be thinking that your relationship is
the one thing in your hectic life that is stress-free, so why change
things? While there is a certain level of comfort and predictability
in a long-term relationship, the danger is that you may stop
listening and may stop "being there" for your
relationship. Knowing your mate inside and out can also give both of
you the illusion that you can read each other's minds. And this can
lead to misunderstandings which, when piled on top of each other,
can lead to relationship disasters.
Talk to each other. Listen. Ask questions.
Don't assume. As you continue to grow and change as an individual,
so will your relationship. Keep the lines of communication open by
not tuning each other out. This doesn't just apply to verbal
communication either. If your mate feels more like a roommate than a
lover, perhaps you should incorporate more "togetherness"
into your daily routines. Love is in the little things, in the
day-to-day details of our lives.
Edel Jarboe is the founder and editor of Simpler Living (http://www.simplerliving.com),
an online magazine helping women balance work, family and life.
E-mail Edel at ejarboe@simplerliving.com
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