Learning how to keep
the love and intimacy alive and well in any relationship - for life!
Recently I received a letter from a young man
who had been married only a few years. He was seeking advice for
what to do with a marriage which had seemingly lost the spark and
excitement it once had. He was finding his marriage dull and
routine, and was looking for an excuse to seek fulfillment
elsewhere. This young man's dilemma is certainly not unique. Just
look at the staggering divorce rates in this country if you don't
believe me. Fortunately, there is a simple solution to this problem.
My advice to this young man was the same as it
is for all others experiencing similar difficulties in their
relationships. Relationships are like anything else, the more time
and effort we put into them, the more successful they will be. If
our marriages and other relationships seem unsatisfying, we must
first look at what we are putting into these relationships, rather
than what we're getting out of them. We can't expect more from a
relationship than we're willing to put into it.
When we're first courting, our infatuation
with the other person leads us to be romantic and prone to outward
signs of affection. We write love letters, spend hours talking about
our deepest feelings and thoughts, we hold hands in public, and say
sweet things for no reason, etc. Unfortunately, as the relationship
continues and we begin to focus more on other things and less on our
partner, the relationship loses its initial spark and we begin to
feel a loss of love, intimacy and excitement. This doesn't mean our
love is fading or the relationship has less to offer, it simply
means we've forgotten to keep the love alive.
We all can recapture the excitement, love, and
intimacy our relationships once had, and without a major overhaul.
Simply putting forth a little effort each day can make all the
difference in the world. When was the last time you woke up, turned
to your partner and told them you loved them? Or called them at the
office for no other reason than to say you missed them? If you need
ideas, just think back to the things you did when you were first
dating. It won't take long for your partner to notice your renewed
affection, and suddenly you'll find them returning these gestures of
love. Soon the relationship you once questioned will have taken on a
whole new sense of fulfillment, love, and intimacy.
The Mystic Beagle offers free advice on
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