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Marriage Basics
By Dr. Kevin Polk
Copyright 2000. All rights reserved.
You can also think of a marriage as a team...A
team that
often needs to "get back to the basics," the basics of
communication. A team is simply not a team without good
communication between the players.
You can picture the football or soccer coach saying
that in the locker room. Of course the coach is right.
Without good basics there is little chance of the team doing
well.
You can also think of a marriage as a team. As a matter of
fact, it's very useful to think of it as a team. A team that
often needs to "get back to the basics," the basics of
communication. A team is simply not a team without good
communication between the players.
So what are the basic communication skills team members
need? Paying attention and empathy. Paying attention is
being aware of the other person. On a sports team the
players watch one another's movements. If another player
speaks, he or she is listened to. The best players know
listening is important.
 Empathy
is seeing things from the other person's point of
view. This is fundamental for a sports team. They need to
have a good idea of how it is to play other positions on the
team to be a truly great player. In a sense they need to be able to
see the field through their teammate's eyes.
The same basics go into a marriage. You need to pay
attention to your partner. Don't just listen with your ears;
also use your eyes and your touch. The better you are at
paying attention to them, the more empathy you have. With
good empathy you will have a good idea of how it is to be in
your partner's shoes. You may even gain some compassion for
their field position in the marriage.
"Field Position?" What's that in a marriage you ask? It's
the position of having to deal with your partner. In the
case of your partner that means they have to deal with you.
Give that some thought and have a little empathy for your
partner's field position. It's one of the true basics of
building and maintaining a good marriage.
Dr. Polk offers a free course in Creative Problem Solving
delivered by email. Send a message to:mailto:timedoctor@GetResponse.com?subject=REF023 .
Or visit
http://www.timedoctor.com/signup023.htm
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A Chain Reaction
Sincere words, carefully chosen,
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Here are some tips and phrases to get you started.
I am sure you will be able to add your own to this list.
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