Tempted Again - To Work or Not to Work?
by Kim Ostendorf

It happened again. For about the fourth time in the year since my son was born and I quit my job, I was tempted to go back to work. The classified ad read in part: Part-time. Professional Office. 20-25 hours/week; flexible. $13.00/hr.

The position was related to my field of Human Resources. I called and spoke to the contact person. Then, I spent the next 48 hours in turmoil. I consulted with my husband and the women in my playgroup. I prayed. I deliberated the pros and cons. I kept thinking how hard it is to find part-time, professional positions at the rate of pay listed. I thought of the new kitchen I want, the windows we need for the house, and birthdays and Christmas coming up. I thought how nice it would be to save more money. I even thought it would be fun to get 
dressed up in heels, makeup, and jewelry again. These thoughts consumed me for 2 full days. 

Yet, even with all the pros I could list, it just didn't feel right. I got overwhelmed with the childcare realities. I couldn't imagine rushing around in the morning to get out the door rather than enjoying the leisurely mornings we share. I remembered that I recently missed my son after being away from him for 6 hours one day. Thankfully, I finally found peace and came to the following conclusions. I have an incredible opportunity already and that is the option of staying home with my son. Raising him is the best human resources job there is. My challenge is to learn to be content being home. I need to practice an "attitude of gratitude" rather than wishing and wanting more, bigger, better. I am so lucky to have a husband who wholeheartedly supports our decision for me to stay home. I have a terrific network of other stay-at-home moms who readily affirm me.

I also realized that, if I really have faith, there will be other appropriate job opportunities if and when I choose to work outside the home again. This latest temptation had me in a tizzy for a couple of days, but it only served to reaffirm that I am exactly where I need to be. My commitment to being a stay-at-home mom is renewed - until the next temptation comes along! 

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