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The Secret Life of A Stay-At-Home Mom
by Christine Clark
The idea that mothers who stay home with
their children are, in effect, Oprah-watching homeroom moms whose day consists solely of baking cookies and
taking care of their families, is, unfortunately, a common one.
| During a recent visit to my local food store, I ran into an acquaintance whom I had not seen for several years. While we chatted in the produce section, I learned that she had
just recently received a promotion at her company and she and her husband were planning a trip to Aruba, leaving
their kids with a sitter for a week. The last time we saw
each other, I was a mom to a young son and worked as a secretary for a law firm. She was thrilled to learn of our
latest addition - another son - and was eager to hear what I had been up to since we last spoke. |
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"Well, I have been home with the kids for several years
now, " I explained.
"Home? " she replied, a bit perplexed. "Wow! A big step - giving up all that you have worked for all these years to
stay home. But you must love the free time you have."
Her reply stayed with me for days after our chance meeting. I should be used to this type of response by now,
but I am not. Most people I have come into contact with, when learning that I am a stay-at-home
mom, react in the same way. The idea that mothers who stay home with their children are, in effect, Oprah-watching homeroom moms whose day consists solely of baking cookies and
taking care of their families, is, unfortunately, a common one.
Although I am guilty of catching a few of Oprah's shows now and then, my day
is not nearly as easy as most would like to believe. I am a freelance writer and web site host, struggling on a daily
basis to balance career and family. The job is not an easy one. My
editor doesn't care that my article is late because someone jammed an Oreo cookie in
the printer. Calling clients while your twelve year old is in the background screaming that his little brother wiped
a booger on him is not suitable for those with a history of high blood pressure. In addition to my writing, which I
must work at twice as hard in order to make even a third
of what I once earned when I was a "working mom" (a term used facetiously, as in "whoever thinks that this isn't work should have their head examined"), I am expected to cook, clean and raise two active boys. All with a smile on
my face. Lawn maintenance, basketball practices, pest control and certain home repairs fall under my job description, as my husband works extra hours at his place
of employment so that I may be home with our children.
As for all that free time I supposedly possess, I haven't had my nails and hair done in ages, due to the fact that a
busy beauty salon and an adventurous toddler do not mix. Five minutes in the shower without someone bursting in
to ask me where we keep the can of Raid is considered time alone. Quality time with my husband usually means doing the dinner dishes together (he washes, I dry) before
one or both of us fall asleep watching "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire". And before you ask, I can't baby-sit your
sick kid because I am probably dragging one or both of my own to the pediatrician's to get a shot or to have some
type of foreign object removed from their body.
It's tough being a stay-at-home mom. But I think it would be even tougher to be away from my kids all day and miss sharing that time with them. I am grateful for the
opportunity to lay on the grass with my three year old and listen as he tells me what each cloud resembles. I look forward to my oldest son getting home from school each
day and am anxious to hear about the ups and downs of being in sixth grade. I am there for my boys when a boo
boo needs to be kissed, when they need someone who is handy at filling up the water balloons, or just for a hug in
the middle of the day.
To some it may seem that I have given up a lot - career, money, a sense of myself. But the way I see it, my job is to raise these two boys the best way I know how. No amount
of money in the world can make up for the time I am
spending with them now while they are young. I haven't given up a thing. I have received more from this than I
could have ever imagined.
Note: The above featured book is
highly recommended by Main Street Mom.
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