I Have No Right to Complain
By Mia Cronan
www.MainStreetMom.com

I’m doing exactly what I wanted to do, and with a lot more resources, appliances, and conveniences than my mother had when she raised six kids full-time! 

As a child I always dreamed of one day when I would have my own home and family.  But by the time I got to high school, I knew I wanted a high-powered career in business, in some capacity.  I got my business degree, and went on to work for a large hotel chain in management, and was thrilled with my career.  Then one day, I met my husband-to-be.   We dated for a year, got married, and had our first daughter later the following year.  After being home for the government-approved 12 weeks, I went back to work.  The suits were a bit snug yet, but it still felt good being back in them…for a while.  

Dropping my baby off at the babysitter’s house for the first time was tougher than tough.  I cried my first day back at work for most of the day, behind the closed door of my office.  Thank goodness I had an understanding boss who had kids of his own!  I just knew things would get easier soon.  Weeks went by, we moved to another city, and I got a new job within the same hotel chain.  We found a suitable daycare, and back we jumped onto the treadmill.  We learned we were expecting our second daughter in a few months, and we were thrilled!  Weeks went by, and I continued to drop the baby at daycare and dash off to work until I was five months pregnant.   

Then it hit me.  I couldn’t do it anymore.  I could no longer leave my baby with strangers, nice as they were.  They saw her first steps, they saw her giggle all day with her playmates, they gave her hugs when she went boomsy, they fed her her meals, and they kept her clean and dry.  That was my job, but I was at work. 

Discomfort from pregnancy started setting into my back, and that was enough for my husband and me to start talking about my staying home full-time.  It would be tight.  We were accustomed to a budget with money leftover at the end of the month.  And what would I do to prevent boredom while my little ones were sleeping?  So, a week or two went by, and I did it.  I gave notice and worked out a 4-week period, feeling tremendous relief beginning the moment I handed the letter to my boss.  I was free to be the mommy I wanted to be since childhood. 

My first day home was rough, albeit a quirk.  My daughter, then 15 months, got violently sick and ran a high fever for the entire day.  What would I have done if I hadn’t quit my job?  I’d have had to call in sick, but as it was, I was there with her, holding her all day with thankfully nowhere to be.  As much as I hated that she was sick, I was thrilled to be the one giving her comfort.  I couldn’t help but think it was something telling me that we had made the right decision. 

Time went by, I loved being at home, but loneliness set it.  My second daughter was born, and we had a whole new schedule to which we must get accustomed. My husband's job relocated us to another city, and we got settled into a new home.  My days were pretty much predictable, but they were also filled with new surprises, one of which was how messy kids are!  I couldn’t get over it!  I felt like I spent my life picking up the kids’ toys!  And the kitchen…ugh…I couldn’t keep up with it.  As soon as I’d clean up from one meal, it was time to think about the next.  Shall I even mention the laundry?  I noticed my patience getting shorter and shorter.   

I met some other moms with whom I could commiserate.  We would go on and on about the stress of trying to keep a home of which Martha Stewart would be proud, the constant flow of dirty laundry, the lack of sleep, our clothes which never lacked some caliber of stains, and the isolation of being at home full-time. 

A lot of time has passed since that phase, I have three daughters and a son, and I can honestly say that now I look at things differently.  Thank goodness for that.  I have no right to complain.  I’m doing exactly what I wanted to do, and with a lot more resources, appliances, and conveniences than my mother had when she raised six kids full-time!  I am the first person my kids see in the morning, and my husband and I are the last ones they see at night.  I choose what they eat, and I am with them while they eat it.  I have the privilege of changing their diapers, and I even get to be the one to clean up when they get sick.  It’s my husband and me who are teaching them how to pray, how to know right from wrong, and how to live and love within a family.  I get to see their artwork fresh off the table, and I get to hang it right on the fridge while I ooh and aah their work. 

To top it off, I am able to maintain a business at home – no boss, no schedule, no nylons or high heels, and no meetings.  And when it’s time for a break, I get up and walk outside in the grass with no shoes on, or I curl up on the couch with one of my tots and read a story.  I can even let the dishes pile up in the sink for a bit so we can go to the park, because heaven knows those dishes aren’t going anywhere.  My uniform is shorts and a t-shirt, or sweats and a sweatshirt.  My lunch break might consist of peanut butter and jelly crusts and the leftover pieces of fruit cocktail that the girls don’t like.  But I’m home. And I have no right to complain.

Related Articles:

The Secret Life of A Stay-At-Home Mom 
The idea that mothers who stay home with their children are, in effect, Oprah-watching homeroom moms whose day consists solely of baking cookies and taking care of their families, is, unfortunately, a common one.

Schedule Number 682
The difficulty in maintaining a schedule and a routine is one of the most common complaints of a stay-at-home mom.

Dealing with Isolation
It's a Lonely World in the House!

Mom's Identity Crisis
Do you ever wonder what the rest of the world is doing while you are up to your ears in laundry, dishes, and toys?