Playpen Guilt
by Mia Cronan
MainStreetMom.com

We've all been there; out of total frustration, we place our tots in the
playpen so that we can run downstairs to switch loads of laundry, and the child screams her head off. Does this make us bad parents? I don't think so. Isn't she safer there than wandering the house looking for you?

My first daughter only slept in the playpen, and only when we went out of
town; its sole purpose for us then was to act as a portable crib. It stayed
in the closet in its little carrying bag until we were ready to pack the van
and head out for a weekend trip. My second daughter was a chronic cranky
baby, so finally one day, I set it up and put her in it, so I could get at
least one little task done around the house. Periodically, I would place
her in it for 10 to 15 minutes out of the day, which was not enough to
warrant it taking up a chunk of space that we needed in our family room.
Down it came. Our third daughter has taken up semi-permanent residence in
that very same playpen. It's been up since she was three months old, and
she is quite accustomed to its safe haven and plethora of toys. (We have a
bigger family room now, too.)

Do I feel guilty? No, because I spend a lot of time throughout the day
holding her, snuggling with her, and carrying her around the house while I
do my chores. And frequently, she's on my lap while I work at the computer,
as were her big sisters at this age. When I place the baby in the playpen,
I can expect her to squawk for a moment. It's become a routine, a habit
even. She briefly protests her solitary confinement, then she checks out
the goods I've tossed in and gets down to some serious playtime. Sometimes
she'll even wave to me happily as I come back up the stairs with a basket of
clean laundry.

Playpens are safety zones for babies, not jail cells. If there is someone in
your life who makes you feel guilty for utilizing your playpen at times,
remind them that your baby is safer in there than she is roaming the floors,
gates or no gates, while you're on another level doing laundry, grabbing a
diaper, or jotting a quick grocery list. And face it, these are things we
all have to do, and usually time is of the essence. If you allow your baby
to hold you hostage, resentment that you can't have a minute to yourself can
build, frustration that you can't get anything done can mount, and anger
then ensues.

It's been my observation through the early years of my three girls' life
that it's best to start the baby in the playpen for 15 minutes a day around
the age of three months. Then build from there. At four months, try 30
minutes, etc... Your baby will let you know when she's had enough and needs
some snuggle time. And you will have gotten so much done that you'll be
anxious to cuddle up and take a break with your eager little one. Grab a
picture book, a cup of tea, and enjoy the peace that a little persistence
afforded you.

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